(08.21.01) At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure." - Matthew 11:25-26.

Never underestimate the importance of re-reading scripture (Psalm 1:1-3). The truth that the mind is sensitive to changes from day to day, and with growth. I included the above verse because it speaks to what I've been searching through for a little while. Why do people see the same evidence and walk away with different conclusions? How do people spend a lifetime studying and/or refuting scripture without seeing its beauty or God's providence? I found one place that said the history of the Bible is about cultural conquest, when it appears to me to be about God's exhaltation of the servant, of the humble, of the weak, and His proof that on our own we are infinitely corruptable apart from Him. Of course, it's only through faith that I can be foolish enough to claim any truth in what I've seen; but, why do I get to gleen this, while many others, in spite of the evidence before them, dismiss the truth. Somehow, this brings God pleasure. The Spirit will reveal as it will. God will be glorified, and "wisdom will be proved right by her actions." May my actions be wise.

(04.22.01) Looking back at the quotes on this site that I put together years ago now, I must have bean exceedingly lovesick at the time. It's honestly rather scary. At least that's all over with now; but I guess we all need some kind of major heartbreak in our lives or else we can never really appreciate what we do have.

(04.05.01) Genesis study has been rather cool this semester. One of the themes we've been discovering is the tendency for God to take things from Chaos to Order. So, I've been trying to do that with my life a bit. Take the really chaotic parts and put some rhyme or reason to it, but it's ending up being a really hard task. Lord knows I don't have the strength to do it alone.

(04.05.01) I don't know if others do the same thing, but I tend to shapeshift a lot behaviorly. When there are a lot of talkative people around, I keep quiet. When I'm around someone who's rather shy, I talk a lot. When people are goofing off, I'm serious. If someone's really serious, I joke around. I don't know if I purposely try to act like some form of homeostasis, but it is interesting to see the results of what happens. I end up having people try to talk about me, and they end up wondering if they're talking about the same person. It does create some funny jokes though ;). I just wonder if I'm the only one.

(02.15.01) Why does caring lead to pain? (This isn't some cheesy rant about dating, but more in general). You want something or someone to succeed, but when it doesn't happen, you end up wracking yourself about why it just didn't happen ... even though there's nothing you can do about it, and there probably wasn't anything you could do at that time anyway. ... ::sigh::

(11.05.00) Could an elephant juggle bowling balls with it's trunk??

(11.05.00) Just from the retreat: It's not whether I (blank) or don't (blank), but it's faith (getting your value from God) expressing itself through love (the blank I should have done in the first place).

(11.05.00) It's funny. Often we take our weaknesses and use them as excuses rather than things that could be used to glorify God. We ask God to make us better at this or at that, when we may just be better suited as we are for the works He has planned.

(10.10.00) Graphics are fun :-)

(10.10.00) Just so I don't forget: God wants us to compete, be proud, and be self-interested. The problem is, as with most things in the Kingdom of God, our definitions of what that means differ greatly from His (usually about 180 deg).

(10.10.00) Boy, quite a sebatical from touching this page. Anyway, just wondering what it is that makes us follow the wrong path when we know where the right one is. The end of "Scent of a Woman" slightly touched upon it, but it seems a more universal problem than just that. At least I think it is. If I'm the only one, I've got some serious problems to work through.

(12.16.99) Recent word of wisdom from a friend: God's grace is so great, and our trust in Him must be so complete that we can't even put trust in the decision we made to follow Christ. We have to trust in God that he'll give us that faith.

(12.16.99) I wish I had more stories like last year's spring break. Getting kicked out of german class at MIT, and then using their passes to get into the Museum of Science in Boston. Just little silly pranks like that just bring a smile to my face. I have some repelling friends with better ones :-). But, I serious doubt I could handle the feeling of risk for some reason. It's just my nature.

(12.16.99) Well, I was going back through slashdot about the whole columbine thingy, and the media's and educational response to the massacre is actually really irking me. The manhunt that this has caused in the schools towards anyone who remotely fits the description of the killers is real disturbing. This has been some of the most overblown hysteria I've ever heard, and to some level, it really hurts me to hear some of the witch-hunting stories.

(10.23.99) What's in a name? It's kind of funny how once you have someone close to you, their name always has a certain connection from then on. Jennifer or Jack mean like nothing to me since I've never been close to people with those names, but others, even if it's a different person with the same name ... it sticks. I don't think I'm wording this quite well, but I trust you get the picture

(10.19.99) Sometimes when we go searching to find out who we are, we never find what we are looking for because we never had to look in the first place.

(10.19.99) I really don't think I completely understand the first question of the shorter catechism. What does it really entail to bring joy to God? We focus so much on trying not to bring Him anguish through our sins that we seem to neglect the side of simply pleasing him. Do your actions please God?--and realize that is a different question than do your actions not please Him?--in mentality at least.

(Going to start dating these things now :-)

(9.2.99) It's kind of funny that it's the insecure people when we were younger that make the rest of us insecure. And it seems as if it is only a decent parental upbringing that can avoid that from happening. Most of us go along rather confidently in our early lives until we get blasted by someone because of their need to feel superior in some sense. But oh well, it's like the old addage (sp?) goes, it's easier to pull something down than up. The one guy who most impressed me when I was younger was somehow the person who was so sure of himself that he would reach out to everyone to help bring them up. Hopefully I'm able to raise my kids into that type of person.

When I was younger, I remember thinking how "mature" I was. In sixth grade, we even had a discussion in class about when we lost our innocence (one person said when her dog died). Looking back, I'd have to say that I was wrong compared to now; so either, I'm living in a constant state of maturity or I might as well just assume that I'm still immature and innocent (both draw from the same reasoning).

Ok, this is one that gets to me all the time. For the last time, truth is not relative! The notion that it is stems from the inability to admit to oneself "I could be wrong", so to protect our egos, we just say everyone is right. Well, unfortunately, the world is black and white. The greys are just when we don't want to deal with the truth. And truth comes from the possession of information, so until you know absolutely everything about something, you only have glimpses of its truth (and someone generally always knows something that you don't). (I'm probably going to post a written argument that I developed for this sometime).

Thought about this one after seeing A Blast from the Past, a rather enjoyable movie really. Anyway, the thing that was interesting about Brandon Frasiers character was that he was so open and child-like in many ways. Its just kind of interesting that a lot of people would like to behave like that, myself included, but the problem is can you actually live with the consequences of acting that way. Being completely open can be extremely dangerous. But the rewards can be great too. Which side does the scale lean to?

Another little pet-peave: Everybody!! The new millenium doesn't start 'till 2001. Yes, hitting 2000 is pretty cool, but it's the last year of this millenium (there was no 0 AD or BC). I don't think the Romans even had this much trouble when they were forced to stop counting down the years and start counting forwards.

Question: Does anyone actually look the way they think they do? 'Cause I know I don't. You really never even look the way you do in a mirror, since reflections can actually alter your appearance somewhat. It's late ... mind's wandering.

I'm always rather happy with myself when I find quotes that support ideas I've come up on my own. Recently it was this quote: "The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" -Eugene Kennedy. The way I thought of it is these two ways: 1) Real friendship happens when you can sit for hours of time with someone without talking, and still feel perfectly content, and 2) Friendship is talking more and more about less and less. When you conversations eventually become facial expressions or slight signals that the other person completely understands.

For some reason, the whole relativeness of time thing always fascinates me. I was watching this kid fidget around at McDonald's the other day. Although he seemed to me rather hyperactive, he was probably moving rather normally in his own perspective. A minute lasts a lot longer to a kid than an adult. I talked to my Great Aunt about that, and I don't even want to imagine how long a minute lasts when you're 80. It's probably some kind of inverse log function, as that single minute is compared to the sum of all the minutes you've been on the earth. Imagine how God would see Time from a human perspective.

Well, I can't do much about my faults. For some strange reason, they come from the same traits where I get my strengths.